College

Mishaps and Milestones
Students share the ups and downs of college life

Find out what some former writers for Youth Communication have struggled with in college—from the loneliness of living far from home to trying to juggle schoolwork, jobs and extracurriculars.

Desiree Bailey, 19, is a sophomore at Georgetown University in Washington, DC; Janill Briones, 21, is a senior at Hunter College in Manhattan; Pauline Gordon, 21, is a junior at Lehman College in the Bronx; Lily Mai, 19, is a junior at Brooklyn College and Tasha Santos, 20, is a sophomore at the University of New Orleans in Louisiana.

Q: How did actual college life compare with your expectations?

Janill Briones: I expected it to be lonely. Freshman year I spoke to someone who had been in college already and she said that at a commuter college like Hunter you kind of just focus on your work; people don’t really hang out. But I found that if I really wanted to, I could make and keep friends.

Desiree Bailey: One thing that caught me off guard was that I thought people would be more open in regard to race. In high school I went to a very diverse school but still you had the different groups here and there; in the cafeteria there’s a black table, a white table. I didn’t think that would happen in college, but to a certain extent it does.

Q: How would you describe the atmosphere at your college?

Lily Mai: People are much more mature. In high school we had people running in the hallways and security guards yelling after them. In college, students can party, but they party with a brain.

Janill: Hunter has a lot of couches, so you can just chill, sit around, talk to people, read; it’s a laid-back atmosphere. Of course, once you hit the classroom you get serious, but it doesn’t have to be a scary place.

Pauline Gordon: The atmosphere at my college is, as I think you kids say today, “staying on the grind.” Everyone’s focused on getting homework done, getting their bachelor’s or their master’s. When you’re around people like that it’s very encouraging.

Q: What do you wish you’d been told before you started college?

Tasha Santos: They don’t care about you in the financial aid office. They want their money and if you don’t get it to them, there’s a problem. College is a business—remember that, first and foremost. If you fail, you are paying to fail, because they want their money either way.

Janill: You have to be on top of your financial aid. It’s really important to get in your FAFSA (and your TAP if you’re staying in New York). Keep all those scholarships up to date, because if you don’t get your money in as soon as possible, they will drop your classes.

Pauline: And it’s not just the financial aid department, it’s also professors. In high school they cut you a lot of slack, but in college if you don’t turn in your homework on time, prepare to fail.

Q: What’s the hardest thing for you about college? How have you dealt with it?

Desiree: My first couple of days, I was like, “Do I belong here?” Because, I kid you not, there were kids talking about this book they’d read and this philosopher they like. But while they were very intellectual, they were also very “yeah, let’s go out and party.” I like to go out but I don’t drink. So it was kind of like, “Where do I fit in here?”

And you have people speaking up in class who may be thinking the same exact thing you’re thinking, but just the way that they say it is like, whoa, which private school did they go to? For me, just seeing my grades made me feel like I belonged. I came to realize that maybe they were feeling insecure like I was and maybe that was why they decided, well, let me bring up everything that I ever learned—ever—to impress people.

Tasha: I’m from New York and I went all the way down to New Orleans to volunteer, and on a whim I decided to stay for college. I don’t think I took into account the distance. I had no family around there and there were times when I was just so lonely, so confused. I wondered, “Why did you come down here, of all places? This place has just been hit by a hurricane.”

To deal with it, first I cried, and then I remembered why I’d come—to get an education, to learn about myself and the world. And if you stay focused on why you came to college, then you should be OK.

Q: What kinds of things distract you in college?

Janill: My extracurricular activities distract me. I’m on the varsity fencing team and I’m president of the Harry Potter club, Dumbledore’s Army. On top of that I’m in a federal program called Minority Access to Research Careers (MARC). For a while I had problems because I wanted to do this and I wanted to do that, and in college that’s kind of what happens. Everything seems so awesome. But at the same time you really have to focus on your schoolwork.

Desiree: Another thing that’s distracting if you’re dorming is the fact that there are always people around. At 3 in the morning, you have a paper to write and everyone’s just so interesting. My room was right outside the elevator so everyone came barging in all the time. It was really hard to get stuff done. I had to sneak away to the library one time.

Tasha: Parties are distracting. You get all these party invites and you’re like, “Yeah! I’m gonna go clubbing and I’m gonna write this paper tonight—of course I can do that!” You can’t do that.

Q: Are any of you the first in your family to go to college?

Tasha: I am. My mom was like, “Do not mess up. The hopes of your family are riding on it.”

Desiree: My parents went to school in Trinidad but here it’s a whole new system. My brother went before me and he had to figure everything out. I remember there were a lot of arguments between him and my parents. I think when you’re the first in your family to go through the system, you have to take the initiative and talk to officials and find out what’s going on, because you really don’t know the whole bureaucracy of college.

Janill: In my immediate family I’m the first one. In my extended family I will be the first to actually graduate. I know my parents are really proud of me and that makes me happy. They both grew up in Ecuador. My dad only made it to 3rd grade because he had to work and my mom only made it to 6th grade because she had to take care of her brothers and sisters. So they always wanted me to do well in school. I do it mostly for myself, of course, but I would like to do it for them, too.